DUCT TAPE

Duct Tape Will Fix Most Anything

By Elton Camp

It’s one of the most versatile products I’ve seen

Duct tape, whether it’s gray, brown or even green

Any cracked tiles you don’t really need to replace

A bit of sticky tape will hold them right in place

Is your radiator hose getting about ready to burst?

It won’t, as long as you wrap it with duct tape first

And if you’ve got a slit in your car’s vinyl seat

A piece of duct tape will close it up ever so neat

If your throw rugs are always trying to scoot around

Duct tape the bottom to keep them were they’re found

It will hold electric extension cords down to the floor

So that you can walk and not trip over them any more

It’ll also hold electric wires together after a splice

Wider than electrical tape so that it work so nice

If the rearview mirror should try to drop from the car,

Duct tape will keep it from drooping down quite so far

If your brother’s visiting child is noisy as well as cute

It can work quite well to put the odious brat on mute

An envelope it will seal up very secure and tight

In case the taste of glue isn’t exactly your delight

It will easily close up a partial bag of potato chips

In case the bag isn’t one of the type that zips

If the batteries in the TV remote control pop out,

Duct tape will safely hold them in without a doubt

And anytime that your shoe laces happen to break

Just keep your shoes fastened with some duct tape

If the dryer should leave some lint on your clothes,

Don’t need a brush, duct tape works better than those

If your old car has, in spots, completely rusted through

Then some pieces of duct is all you need to make do

If the heel of your sock has grown a lot too thin,

Duct tape will make it just like new once again

If suspicions of your wife’s trust you have felt

Then it will make an emergency chastity belt

But one thing the manufacturer truly does feel

Is that any leaking duct work it won’t much seal